Sunday, November 8, 2009

a little more cry... @ 11/08/2009 02:25:00 PM

DAMN IT!!!

i'm so pissed... I don't know what to do. I'm so confused right now...

Kagabi, i was in a bday party, bday kasi ng kakilala namin... napag usapan kung saan ako mag aaral at facebook. about sa facebook, dumating ung topic na binura dw ni Ate Ezel si ina sa friends nia, na alam ko naman kung bakit. i do. haha.

Anyway, naku ate ezel... PM nlhan kita pag ngOL ka. bka may makabasa pa nito. mabuking pa mga KINIKIMKIM kong galit. hahaha... kaya ako laging badtrip ee, dhil "sknla".. db ate ezel? :)

Eh,, tapos nalaman ko pa, babalik nanaman kami dito. Syempre, ayaw nila ako mag isa s pinas ee. palagi nalang nila ako binubuntot sknla. FORCED na nga ako sa lahat ng bagay. FORCED na din un pgiging happy ko...

Umiyak nanaman tuloy ako kgabi... naisip ko nanaman ung mga bagay na nakakainis. Kung tutuusin,, mas gusto kong mag isa kesa kasama sila.. tutal naman anjan sila ninang ellen, ate ezel, aisa, mga kamag anak at friends ko... atlis kahit papano mas sumasaya ako sakanila. Di nga alam ng pamilya ko, ayaw sakanila ng mga tao. Nakuu.. hahaha...

NO MORE DEBUT dhil din dun. they changed nung napunta sila dito. nung minsan sbi ni ina "kung alam ko lhan, sana di ko nalang tinanggap ung offer".. gusto ko sabihin "BUTI NAISIP MO PA YAN!!!" kaso xempre, nanay ko xa kaya KIMKIM nlhan ulit db? un na nga ee, nanay ko xa. need respetuhin kahit ang hirap na magkimkim. mas gusto ko MAPAG ISA! magpakasaya! kesa sa bubuntot sknla. wala naman ako magawa kundi titigan sila. MAS MAHAL KO PA LAPTOP KO kasi mas lagi ko kasama laptop ko ee. hehe...

siguro nga, di ko DAW sila naiintindihan at pnplilit DAW nila ako intindihin. kahit 1% ng buhay ko HINDI NILA ALAM! hahahaha. galing nuh? di nga nila kilala ung totoong ako ee. kasi NAPAKALAYO KO SAKANILA! mas open ako sa tao kesa sknla. sila kasi laging "dapat sosyal" ... syempre, kng wala sila wala ako. KUNG WALA SILA, WALANG PERA!!!" diba? :))

pera lhan naman ee. hehe,, sana kumita nako ng pera para di nako umasa sa kanila. di na nila ako kokontrolin diba? akala ko,, tapos na un sadness un pala HINDI PADIN!

sana magkaron nako ng sariling "say"... na pede nako maging happy in my own way. gusto ko tuloy tawagan si ninang ellen... :'(

SANA umuwi nako ng pinas at magaral! sana tanggapin naman ako dun. mas gusto ko dun kesa dito. mag isa man, masaya NAMAN! eh dito? MALOLOKA KA sa sobrang daming kinikimkim na galit sa buhay. kaya WALA NAKO GANA!!!
mas gusto ko mag isa kesa makasama sila. mskit nuh? un na ung feeling ko naun ee... YUN NA TALAGA! :((

siguro pag magisa ako maiisip ko mamimiss ko sila. pero naun, naiisip ko na mas masaya pag wala sila. hahaha. weird nuh? but,, TRUTH HURTS!

gusto ko na malayo sakanila... gustong gusto naaaaaa.....

Thursday, November 5, 2009

A stressful and tiring day @ 11/05/2009 09:09:00 PM

What a day.

I started my day, when i woke up around 8.30am, because of my mum. Anyway, i already planned being at school ASAP, so i bathed and wore my PE and went to school by 10.30pm.
I went GO to ask for "transcript" but they don't even know what is that so, NEVER MIND.
Since Benilde needs so many requirements, i'm rushing to submit it by November 9.

Anyway, Mdm Tan Lin filled up my Recommendation Form as my form teacher (adviser), and well, i waited for Mr Teo to fill up the other form as the Discipline Head. Urgh.. At around 1pm, i finished everything and chitchat with Kokila for a while, since she went to school too.

So, i walked from school to Kovan MRT. I haven't eaten yet so i bought snacks from Old Chang Kee. Then, i alighted at Dhoby Ghaut station to go to my mom's office in which, i stopped by Auntie Anne's to buy a pretzel bread. Ü .. hehe, then, i ate it while walking to the bus stop and boarded bus 65. I arrived at my mom's office quarter to 2pm.. My mum ate half of my pretzel since she haven't eaten at all, too. She was writing a letter to Benilde. hehe.

Moreover... I went to buy on Mcdonald's meal and my mum and i shared it... hehe, they were giving this Monopoly thingy. haha. Btw, I was still in my PE attire. :'(

So yea, we settled my requirements and went to Lucky Plaza at Orchard around 3pm to send it back to my Aunt in The Philippines, whereby she'll submit it to Benilde personally. THANK YOU SO MUCH TITA LENY! :]

They said, it will be received tomorrow afternoon. Thank Goodness!
And then, when we were heading back to my mum's office around 4pm, my brother texted, saying he forgot his keys inside the house this morning, he couldn't go in. So, we asked him to "come over" ... hahaha, so the three of us, went home around 5.30pm with Ate Vivian.

I am so tired, and stressed with the requirements. urgh! :(

Oh well, I hope i'll be admitted in Benilde. PLEASE!! :(

So.. Goodnight.
Ü

MorNight ... @ 11/05/2009 01:16:00 AM

Oh well. I just wanna blog this late for the things happened to me, why am i still awake.

Uhm. O'lvls Phy(P2) + Geography = O'lvl nearly ending. yey :]

Well.I don't want to talk about the papers, but the things i did when i arrived home. i was so DAMN SLEEPY and yet, i still need to fill up my application form for my College, and then Complete my requirements and SEND my application form before 9Nov2009 which is like, 4days to go! Goodness! Stressful. Cramming. Rushing.

So many requirements needed.. In Benilde, choices of courses i chose were: 1)Digital Filmmaking, 2)Technical Theater, 3)International Hospitality Management.

hahaha.. Well, i have to go school later after i sleep/wake up/bathe and all, to try if the school can give me one of the requirements, My Transcript of Records. Urgh. I just want to study happily... And be far from "them", 'cause with "them", i feel alone and imprisoned, and feel the pain of people (relatives) hating you. huhuhu. I just want to feel how to be a HUMAN BEING, not a DOG anymore. :'(

Till then.
♥

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

10 more days... @ 11/03/2009 01:08:00 PM

Good Afternoon! Ü

Wow. 2 days already passed by.. And for that 3 days, nothing much happened. haha.
Last Nov 1, we went out to church as usual and my mum fetched her friend with her family at the airport.

Next day, which is yesterday, i had my SS and Chem paper 2. goodness! Good thing, the papers were manageable. yey. ^___^
Actually, the break in between the papers yesterday were 4hours+ that's why Me, Sabina, Swastika and Shumaiya went to the hawker center behind the school. hehe. Funnily, Sabina always raise her hands sideways AND hit people. BWAHAHAH!! don't do that anymore Sabina. :D

Then, at night, we went to Kopitiam @Hougang Mall with Tita Nancy and her two children and my mom and brother. It was difficult for Tita Nancy's family to look for food with wide variety of food. hahaha. So they kept looking here and there. I was the last one to buy food - Chicken Cutlet rice. hihi.. *yums*

Oh, when i was buying drinks with my bro, i saw Jakey and his friends. haha. funny jakey, he called me "kaaatriiinaaaaaaa" hahaha.. then waved, and his friends did that too. haha.. *shy*

We arrived home pass 9pm. hihi..

Oh well, later we will be in Swensen's @Compass Point to celebrate Tita Nancy's advance birthday, since they're leaving tomorrow. They're in Sentosa now. I wanted to go also but i wasn't able to wake up. haha.

Blog later! ♥

PS: 10 more days till O'lvl ends... and my stay in Singapore. Only 10 more days.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Last Day of October 2009 !!! @ 10/31/2009 11:48:00 PM

Wow! time flies so fast, really. Seems like yesterday was just the end of last month, now a new month's gonna come. Excited? Well, I AM! :]

These past few days, we just had our O'lvls - EMaths and AMaths. Wow, if u will ask me how's my EMaths, i can say it's okay, finely done but for AMaths.. don't bother asking me. it's like ur asking me the obvious. hahahaha...

Hmm.. What else happened, let me think.... Oh oh!! well, nothing really.. too bad i couldn't blog for these past few days because i was so tired being home as late as 6pm... Btw, last friday was TORTURE - both exam and weather. Goodness!! the Exam Paper was HARD/TOUGH and the weather, i mean the hall was SO DAMN COLD, FREEZING COLD! I couldn't bear it that i had to sniff all the time because i was freezing even if my jacket was on. grrr! And since that day, i got this terrible colds+cough. urgh!

Then, today.. it rained "HEAVILY" that we were drenched when we got into the shuttle bus from Hougang Mall to our Condo.
THEREFORE, i was feeling sick already when we went to Takashimaya @ Orchard, then the weather was cold, that i got drenched. NOW, i feel like imma gonna get fever. *cross fingers* hope NOT! :'(

Oh Oh! I also heard about the NEW TYPHOON hit The Philippines. OMG. can typhoons STOP going to The Philippines? They're already sick and tired of your visits. goodness! Worse still, it hit Metro Manila too. OMG. my place my place!! noooo!! Pray for them ok? :]


So, yea. tomorrow's november one - All Saints Day.!! i want to visit my grandparents' tomb too. it's been a long time since i last visited them, but i have to be in Singapore to finish my O'lvls. haiis..

Oh well. 2 more weeks to happiness! hahaha.. love counting down for it. bwahahah!! Ü

Okidokie. few more minutes till Nov. 1.. so yea,
time to update my calendar and events haha...

good night.Ü

blog later ♥

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

O'Lvl Started... @ 10/27/2009 10:36:00 AM

Good Morning! :)

Yesterday was English paper (both papers), and well, i find the paper quite fine. Of course i couldn't say it's easy because Exams are always not easy, only manageable.

Anyway, I wasn't able to blog yesterday because we started the paper around 1.30pm and both papers were finished by 5.45pm... So, i reached home 6.30pm... The Bus 62 was so crowded, and every student was talking about the O'lvl paper! hahahaha..
Oh, I forgot to wear my jacket that time and i was freezing to death!!! gosh. I should wear one later... For today's paper, (EMaths), it should be fine... though i can't be so sure if i can pass this or not but i will do my freakin' best for it. hehe.

I slept quite late last night, good thing O'lvl starts at 2.30pm today. hehe,, I am only scared for Humanities and Chemistry paper. For AMaths, i am trying to memorize every formula ... well, still not confident. hehe.

whew countdown! 3 more weeks to go, then i am back to the Philippines again! can't wait! I am so excited. After O'lvls is total Happiness!! :))

Bonne Chance for Today's paper!!!
Blog later! Ü

Saturday, October 24, 2009

I had FUN !!! @ 10/24/2009 10:35:00 PM

Yes! I am back in Singapore again, but only for 3 weeks. I have to leave Singapore right after my O'lvls. I brought some of my stuff in The Philippines and left it there, since i still have so much to bring back. hahaha.

Anyways, last thursday, i was using my laptop in The Philippines when suddenly, the lights went off. BLACKOUT!!! We only had ONE candle so we had to share the light from it. i missed the thrill of brownouts. After 3 years, i finally experienced "Life in The Philippines" again. i missed it.

Oh Oh!! i have visited like 5 schools for my tertiary education. I tried De La Salle University - Manila, but they told me to wait till the 2nd week of november, if the course i want will have vacancies, BUT in benilde, i am going to take an entrance exam on the 15th of November.OH MY GOSH! can't wait. hahaha.

For Far-Eastern University (FEU), they told me if i want to start on 9th November but of course, take the exam on the saturday which supposed to be TODAY, but i said no, i wanna finish my O'lvls first. since, it's only 3 weeks. UE said the same thing. I'll be fine with Benilde if i pass there. hehehe.

Furthermore, yesterday i was so damn happy. hahaha.. though i got IRRITATED when i was registering to vote for the next presidential election. grrr!! the QUEUE was SO DAMN LOOOOOONG! it took me hours there, some took days :| registration system in The Philippines is so poor. can't it get any better? >_<
But i was happy, i saw my cousins and all... wow. what a day i had yesterday. I couldn't get over the FUN and EXCITEMENT and HAPPINESS and JOY i had...

Can't wait to go back there. Being there is SOOO MUCH, no, WAAAAAY BETTTTEEEERRR than being here... see you again all, soon! ♥

Now, i wanna rest.
*dizzy*

Thursday, October 22, 2009

@ 10/22/2009 09:30:00 AM

Whew.. It’s been almost a week since my last blog post huh? Well, kind of busy these past few days because last Saturday, my brother threw a belated birthday party. It went well though, just that he and his guests only played. Anyway, the party ended late, so I wasn’t able to blog.

The next day, we woke up quite late due to exhaustion caused by the party. Hahaha,
as if right? :]

Then, On Monday, my mom went to office to work so my father decided we should eat at Hougang Mall. Hehe. And then, we packed up our luggage for our vacation back to the Philippines around 3 days only, how sad huh? :( So yeah. I’m here. Hehe.
I wished to keep my vacation secret for some people as I wanted to surprise them but, well… I’m not sure if I can meet them since I am sooooo busy looking for my school…

Today, I am going to Manila to look for a school there and my choices were: De La Salle University (DLSU), De La Salle College of Saint Benilde (CSB), St. Scholastica, Assumption College. My mom also wants me to try University of Santo Thomas (UST), Far-Eastern University (FEU), and more. Hahahah..

So yeah, wish me luck! Actually, I prefer De La Salle University because there’s no uniform. Hahah. I have my own reasons why I don’t want uniforms. Eehehhe..

By the way, last night, I was checking my other phone when I realized someone texted me in my Singapore Sim Roaming, it was Charles. Hahaha. Shocked by the message, I still read it and I felt much better every time people see my blog posts in Filipino. Yes, they read my blog in written in Tagalog. Actually, quite a number of people read it and they always say “I almost cried with your post. Good Luck Ara.” I was like, OMG! Someone still can understand me, still trying to cheer me up. The first one to read it was my cousin. She was like “I read ur blog and I almost cried. Don’t worry, have fun.” And I was like.. “thanks couz! Loveyah!”

It’s so relieving to know that there are still people who care for me, despite their hatred or disliking towards my family and all. I wanna dedicate this post to those who really put effort in reading “My cries”. Thanks SOOO MUCH for really, after reading my post, really contact me just to cheer me up, say good luck and have fun and all. Still, I am so blessed to have you guys in my life.

Blog later! ♥

Friday, October 16, 2009

Graduation 2009 in SG. @ 10/16/2009 10:59:00 AM

Wow. Time flies huh? I have been studying in Singapore for 3 years, and it just ended, and after O'levels. It's over! I'll be in The Philippines. yes! Ü

OCTOBER 15, 2009 - is the day, the last day, the farewell, the GRADUATION DAY. but NOT the GOODBYE!

Anyway, it was a sad thing though thinking about the friendship i created throughout my secondary life in Singapore and leaving them with sad and happy memories... I will miss them, my teachers, my friends, my classmates. I had a wonderful class 4A, it's fun being a 4A student, despite our lame jokes, scoldings from teachers, laziness of some, and rumors around. They're WILD. yes, that's the word. hahaha.

Thanks to our Dearest Form Teacher, Mdm Tan Lin, who taught us for 2years and guided us in our studies and being so motherly to us. We will miss her nagging sessions, her Math Stuff, and her likings for Retro stuff. hahaha..
and to all my teachers Mrs Chew for Physics, Mrs Mahinda for English, Ms Chan for the ionic and covalent bonds we had for Chemistry, Ms Loo for the world to be in our hands and the conflicts we tackled, Mr Lawrence for making us run as fast as we can during PE lessons, because "the last to reach him will get it!" hahaha and other teachers like Mr Danny who didn't teach us but still treat us as his own student :).

My friends, for being so great, our laughing sessions together. My Mother Tongue friends, for sitting altogether laughing at each others' lame jokes. ahahaha.. and don't forget our mother tongue in library, it's always our pleasure to irritate Kit right? :)) The Lemon Tea bottle filled with water by swastika. =)))

Ohh man,, i didn't know i will have more friends than expected.. Thanks. I will never forget you guys. You made my stay in Singapore and Yuying Secondary School way better than what i thought it would be.

Love yah guys!♥♥♥








*more pictures posted in my multiply account. Ü*



This is not the end for us, as we will always be friends with good memories forever. So may Thank You's to everyone i met and befriended in Singapore. You'll always be in my heart. mwaaaahs Ü

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

I hate life because.. :( @ 10/14/2009 09:34:00 PM

Ngayon,, dapat nagsasaya ako kasi finally, nakatapos din ako ng high school. pero hindi padin ee. Di ko padin nkakamit un pinakagusto ko sa buhay. ang maging MASAYA.

Madaming tao na ang nakakaalam ng tungkol sa problema ko.. Alam nila kung gaano ako nahihirapan na walang kalayaan maging masaya. Masaya kasi ako pag wala sa bahay.. boring kasi sa bahay ee. tinitgnan mo lhan pamilya mong hindi naman ako napapasaya kasi hindi nila ako maintindihan.

Yung ibang tao,, alam nila kung gano ako kalungkot at kasaya over some things in life. Pero mismong pamilya ko hindi alam yon... Hindi nga nila alam,, madaming naiinis sa kanila. Butii nga nung pasko may pumunta pa eeh, sa susunod wala na.. pati ako, ayoko na din pumunta.

Eto din ang dahilan bat ayoko Mag Debut. Bakit pa? WALA NAMAN PUPUNTA. sino pupunta, langgam? insekto? tae? kalabaw? Sa mga pinsan ko, kahit si ninang, ayaw na pumunta. bakit? dahil sa pamilya kong nag iba ng ugali.

Buti pa sa pinas,, nagkakasundo kami.. masaya kahit papano. nung napunta kami dito.. naging magastos kami, tas nag feeling mayaman.. tignan nalang ang ugali nila, sabi nila ibang iba ako sakanila.. Kasi ako, outgoing ako.. nakikisama.. Sila kasi, nagiging mapang mata na eeh..

Honestly, andami kong hinanakit sa pamilya ko. Napapalayo na yung loob ko sakanila. Para ngang hindi nako Herrero eh. hahaha.. mas gusto ko pa sa pinas nalang ako, baka sakaling ma-miss ko pa sila... Grabeng dami nilang hindi alam...

Siguro tingin nila masama ako kasi teenager ako.. Dahil teenager ako kaya ganito ako umasta, ee hindi naman ee. Tinanggalan nila ako ng kaligayahn ee. araw araw nakong umiiyak. gabi-gabi. nasasaktan ako habang nagdadasal. kasi nahihirapan ako tanggapin na wala akong kaibigang naturing ng matalik talaga sa high school ko dito. Pano, tingin nila nwawala din ang kaibigan.. eh syempre, mawawala kung hindi mapapahalagahan. diba? gusto kasi nila,, mag aral ako ng mag aral kahit hindi ako masaya. Eeh wala eeh, tinatamad nako mag aral. Hindi ko nga alam kung mapapasa ko pa un O'Levels ko sa katapusan ee... kasi,, kahit anong gawin ko, hindi nako ginaganahan mag aral. kumbaga, patapon na buhay ko. hahaha..

Ang gusto ko lhan naman, hindi nako control-in. gusto ko lhan naman, hayaan naman nila ako mag decide para sa sarili ko,, gusto nila maging independent kami, pero yun ginagawa nila. hindi nakakatulong. Kelangan ko nalang sila para sa PERA. PERA nalang ang dahilan bakit ako kumakapit sknla, hindi dahil masaya ako.. kasi, hindi na talaga ee... nahihirapan nako..

Nagsisimula nakong bumagsak dito,, kasi hindi ako namo-motivate sa school ee, puro nlhan kng anu-ano sinasabi sakin. tulad kanina, nung PE namin, tinanong kami ng teacher namin san ako mag aaral, sabi ko "sa pinas" sbi ng guro namin "ha? bakit dun? ee un katulong namin nagtapos dun, katulong lhan dito" ... ano ba un? pampalakas ng loob? tapos kapag hindi ko magets un tinuturo samin, tntnong ko un mga "akala kong kaibigan ko" kung pano yun. tas ipapamukha pa lalo sakin na BOBO AKO! oo na! bobo nako! matagal ko nang alam!! wala na nga akong kwenta eeh!

Sa pagtatapos ko dito.. sobrang saya ko! kasi mawawala na un hirap na dinadanas ko araw2 sa school... Tiniis ko lahat ng nanyayari sakin sa school MAG ISA. sa buong buhay ko, mag isa lhan ako umiiyak.. kaya nga un dibdib ko, sobrang sikip naa. butee nlhan si ninang ellen, plaging anjan sa tabi ko, makikinig sakin..

minsan naiisip ko, siguro gusto ng aking ina maging kasing sipag nia ako magaral.. Pero sa pinas, pag exam, nagaaral talaga ako,, nag mememorize pako.. dito,, kahit major exam na,, pa-relax relax ako. hindi nako tinatablan ng takot ng exams eh. para bang, wala nakong pakielam kng mkatapos ako or hindi.. kasi ano pa? sila lhan naman kasama ko palagi. wala nakong ginawa kundi sundin sila..

Yung pagiging teenager ko pumapasok na issue kapag ganito ako. ssabihin nila, teenager kasi ganito ganyan. Pero kung tutuusin, hindi nawawala manners ko. ayoko nga na sinasabi ng mga tao na mayaman kami.. kasi ayoko maging mayaman. gusto ko tamang buhay lhan... Naiinis nga ako bat pa kailangan namin mapalayo ee. nakakabayad nga ng utang, hindi naman masaya.. Uo pamilya plagie ang dapat nauuna, pero haii..

Kung alam lhan sana ng aking ina kung panu unti-unting lumalayo loob sakanya ng mga kamag anak namin... ayaw na nga magsipunta sa bahay ee, ayaw na nila makita sila... Sana ako gusto pa nila ako makita, kasi naiinggit ako sa mga tao eeh.. Sila, close sila ng relatives nila, e ako? lumalayo dahil ayaw nila sa ama ko. tapos nadadamay sa pagka-ayaw nila sa ama ko si ina.

Haii.. kung pede lhan... UMUWI NAKO NG PINAS at HINDING HINDI na babalik dito!! kaya ko naman ang sarili ko. alam ko naman ang ginagawa ko.. hindi ba pwedeng bukas nako umuwe! T^T

Yung sulat ni ninang para kay ina hindi ko pa nabibigay kasi,, pag binigay ko un, may itatanong skn un panigurado. E nahihirapan ako mag explain pag nagtatanong xa. kasi, kaharap ko siya nun. hindi ko masasabi lahat ng gusto ko sabihin. kung alam lhan tlga nila..

Oh siya.. hanggang dito na lang. kasi wala nako maisip na sabihin.. gusto ko na matulog. I hate my life now,, soooo much!!

I love you ______. Thanks for everything, for being a good listener and always there when i need someone to talk to. u're the best! mwaah. ♥

Sunday, November 8, 2009

a little more cry... @ 11/08/2009 02:25:00 PM

DAMN IT!!!

i'm so pissed... I don't know what to do. I'm so confused right now...

Kagabi, i was in a bday party, bday kasi ng kakilala namin... napag usapan kung saan ako mag aaral at facebook. about sa facebook, dumating ung topic na binura dw ni Ate Ezel si ina sa friends nia, na alam ko naman kung bakit. i do. haha.

Anyway, naku ate ezel... PM nlhan kita pag ngOL ka. bka may makabasa pa nito. mabuking pa mga KINIKIMKIM kong galit. hahaha... kaya ako laging badtrip ee, dhil "sknla".. db ate ezel? :)

Eh,, tapos nalaman ko pa, babalik nanaman kami dito. Syempre, ayaw nila ako mag isa s pinas ee. palagi nalang nila ako binubuntot sknla. FORCED na nga ako sa lahat ng bagay. FORCED na din un pgiging happy ko...

Umiyak nanaman tuloy ako kgabi... naisip ko nanaman ung mga bagay na nakakainis. Kung tutuusin,, mas gusto kong mag isa kesa kasama sila.. tutal naman anjan sila ninang ellen, ate ezel, aisa, mga kamag anak at friends ko... atlis kahit papano mas sumasaya ako sakanila. Di nga alam ng pamilya ko, ayaw sakanila ng mga tao. Nakuu.. hahaha...

NO MORE DEBUT dhil din dun. they changed nung napunta sila dito. nung minsan sbi ni ina "kung alam ko lhan, sana di ko nalang tinanggap ung offer".. gusto ko sabihin "BUTI NAISIP MO PA YAN!!!" kaso xempre, nanay ko xa kaya KIMKIM nlhan ulit db? un na nga ee, nanay ko xa. need respetuhin kahit ang hirap na magkimkim. mas gusto ko MAPAG ISA! magpakasaya! kesa sa bubuntot sknla. wala naman ako magawa kundi titigan sila. MAS MAHAL KO PA LAPTOP KO kasi mas lagi ko kasama laptop ko ee. hehe...

siguro nga, di ko DAW sila naiintindihan at pnplilit DAW nila ako intindihin. kahit 1% ng buhay ko HINDI NILA ALAM! hahahaha. galing nuh? di nga nila kilala ung totoong ako ee. kasi NAPAKALAYO KO SAKANILA! mas open ako sa tao kesa sknla. sila kasi laging "dapat sosyal" ... syempre, kng wala sila wala ako. KUNG WALA SILA, WALANG PERA!!!" diba? :))

pera lhan naman ee. hehe,, sana kumita nako ng pera para di nako umasa sa kanila. di na nila ako kokontrolin diba? akala ko,, tapos na un sadness un pala HINDI PADIN!

sana magkaron nako ng sariling "say"... na pede nako maging happy in my own way. gusto ko tuloy tawagan si ninang ellen... :'(

SANA umuwi nako ng pinas at magaral! sana tanggapin naman ako dun. mas gusto ko dun kesa dito. mag isa man, masaya NAMAN! eh dito? MALOLOKA KA sa sobrang daming kinikimkim na galit sa buhay. kaya WALA NAKO GANA!!!
mas gusto ko mag isa kesa makasama sila. mskit nuh? un na ung feeling ko naun ee... YUN NA TALAGA! :((

siguro pag magisa ako maiisip ko mamimiss ko sila. pero naun, naiisip ko na mas masaya pag wala sila. hahaha. weird nuh? but,, TRUTH HURTS!

gusto ko na malayo sakanila... gustong gusto naaaaaa.....

Thursday, November 5, 2009

A stressful and tiring day @ 11/05/2009 09:09:00 PM

What a day.

I started my day, when i woke up around 8.30am, because of my mum. Anyway, i already planned being at school ASAP, so i bathed and wore my PE and went to school by 10.30pm.
I went GO to ask for "transcript" but they don't even know what is that so, NEVER MIND.
Since Benilde needs so many requirements, i'm rushing to submit it by November 9.

Anyway, Mdm Tan Lin filled up my Recommendation Form as my form teacher (adviser), and well, i waited for Mr Teo to fill up the other form as the Discipline Head. Urgh.. At around 1pm, i finished everything and chitchat with Kokila for a while, since she went to school too.

So, i walked from school to Kovan MRT. I haven't eaten yet so i bought snacks from Old Chang Kee. Then, i alighted at Dhoby Ghaut station to go to my mom's office in which, i stopped by Auntie Anne's to buy a pretzel bread. Ü .. hehe, then, i ate it while walking to the bus stop and boarded bus 65. I arrived at my mom's office quarter to 2pm.. My mum ate half of my pretzel since she haven't eaten at all, too. She was writing a letter to Benilde. hehe.

Moreover... I went to buy on Mcdonald's meal and my mum and i shared it... hehe, they were giving this Monopoly thingy. haha. Btw, I was still in my PE attire. :'(

So yea, we settled my requirements and went to Lucky Plaza at Orchard around 3pm to send it back to my Aunt in The Philippines, whereby she'll submit it to Benilde personally. THANK YOU SO MUCH TITA LENY! :]

They said, it will be received tomorrow afternoon. Thank Goodness!
And then, when we were heading back to my mum's office around 4pm, my brother texted, saying he forgot his keys inside the house this morning, he couldn't go in. So, we asked him to "come over" ... hahaha, so the three of us, went home around 5.30pm with Ate Vivian.

I am so tired, and stressed with the requirements. urgh! :(

Oh well, I hope i'll be admitted in Benilde. PLEASE!! :(

So.. Goodnight.
Ü

MorNight ... @ 11/05/2009 01:16:00 AM

Oh well. I just wanna blog this late for the things happened to me, why am i still awake.

Uhm. O'lvls Phy(P2) + Geography = O'lvl nearly ending. yey :]

Well.I don't want to talk about the papers, but the things i did when i arrived home. i was so DAMN SLEEPY and yet, i still need to fill up my application form for my College, and then Complete my requirements and SEND my application form before 9Nov2009 which is like, 4days to go! Goodness! Stressful. Cramming. Rushing.

So many requirements needed.. In Benilde, choices of courses i chose were: 1)Digital Filmmaking, 2)Technical Theater, 3)International Hospitality Management.

hahaha.. Well, i have to go school later after i sleep/wake up/bathe and all, to try if the school can give me one of the requirements, My Transcript of Records. Urgh. I just want to study happily... And be far from "them", 'cause with "them", i feel alone and imprisoned, and feel the pain of people (relatives) hating you. huhuhu. I just want to feel how to be a HUMAN BEING, not a DOG anymore. :'(

Till then.
♥

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

10 more days... @ 11/03/2009 01:08:00 PM

Good Afternoon! Ü

Wow. 2 days already passed by.. And for that 3 days, nothing much happened. haha.
Last Nov 1, we went out to church as usual and my mum fetched her friend with her family at the airport.

Next day, which is yesterday, i had my SS and Chem paper 2. goodness! Good thing, the papers were manageable. yey. ^___^
Actually, the break in between the papers yesterday were 4hours+ that's why Me, Sabina, Swastika and Shumaiya went to the hawker center behind the school. hehe. Funnily, Sabina always raise her hands sideways AND hit people. BWAHAHAH!! don't do that anymore Sabina. :D

Then, at night, we went to Kopitiam @Hougang Mall with Tita Nancy and her two children and my mom and brother. It was difficult for Tita Nancy's family to look for food with wide variety of food. hahaha. So they kept looking here and there. I was the last one to buy food - Chicken Cutlet rice. hihi.. *yums*

Oh, when i was buying drinks with my bro, i saw Jakey and his friends. haha. funny jakey, he called me "kaaatriiinaaaaaaa" hahaha.. then waved, and his friends did that too. haha.. *shy*

We arrived home pass 9pm. hihi..

Oh well, later we will be in Swensen's @Compass Point to celebrate Tita Nancy's advance birthday, since they're leaving tomorrow. They're in Sentosa now. I wanted to go also but i wasn't able to wake up. haha.

Blog later! ♥

PS: 10 more days till O'lvl ends... and my stay in Singapore. Only 10 more days.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Last Day of October 2009 !!! @ 10/31/2009 11:48:00 PM

Wow! time flies so fast, really. Seems like yesterday was just the end of last month, now a new month's gonna come. Excited? Well, I AM! :]

These past few days, we just had our O'lvls - EMaths and AMaths. Wow, if u will ask me how's my EMaths, i can say it's okay, finely done but for AMaths.. don't bother asking me. it's like ur asking me the obvious. hahahaha...

Hmm.. What else happened, let me think.... Oh oh!! well, nothing really.. too bad i couldn't blog for these past few days because i was so tired being home as late as 6pm... Btw, last friday was TORTURE - both exam and weather. Goodness!! the Exam Paper was HARD/TOUGH and the weather, i mean the hall was SO DAMN COLD, FREEZING COLD! I couldn't bear it that i had to sniff all the time because i was freezing even if my jacket was on. grrr! And since that day, i got this terrible colds+cough. urgh!

Then, today.. it rained "HEAVILY" that we were drenched when we got into the shuttle bus from Hougang Mall to our Condo.
THEREFORE, i was feeling sick already when we went to Takashimaya @ Orchard, then the weather was cold, that i got drenched. NOW, i feel like imma gonna get fever. *cross fingers* hope NOT! :'(

Oh Oh! I also heard about the NEW TYPHOON hit The Philippines. OMG. can typhoons STOP going to The Philippines? They're already sick and tired of your visits. goodness! Worse still, it hit Metro Manila too. OMG. my place my place!! noooo!! Pray for them ok? :]


So, yea. tomorrow's november one - All Saints Day.!! i want to visit my grandparents' tomb too. it's been a long time since i last visited them, but i have to be in Singapore to finish my O'lvls. haiis..

Oh well. 2 more weeks to happiness! hahaha.. love counting down for it. bwahahah!! Ü

Okidokie. few more minutes till Nov. 1.. so yea,
time to update my calendar and events haha...

good night.Ü

blog later ♥

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

O'Lvl Started... @ 10/27/2009 10:36:00 AM

Good Morning! :)

Yesterday was English paper (both papers), and well, i find the paper quite fine. Of course i couldn't say it's easy because Exams are always not easy, only manageable.

Anyway, I wasn't able to blog yesterday because we started the paper around 1.30pm and both papers were finished by 5.45pm... So, i reached home 6.30pm... The Bus 62 was so crowded, and every student was talking about the O'lvl paper! hahahaha..
Oh, I forgot to wear my jacket that time and i was freezing to death!!! gosh. I should wear one later... For today's paper, (EMaths), it should be fine... though i can't be so sure if i can pass this or not but i will do my freakin' best for it. hehe.

I slept quite late last night, good thing O'lvl starts at 2.30pm today. hehe,, I am only scared for Humanities and Chemistry paper. For AMaths, i am trying to memorize every formula ... well, still not confident. hehe.

whew countdown! 3 more weeks to go, then i am back to the Philippines again! can't wait! I am so excited. After O'lvls is total Happiness!! :))

Bonne Chance for Today's paper!!!
Blog later! Ü

Saturday, October 24, 2009

I had FUN !!! @ 10/24/2009 10:35:00 PM

Yes! I am back in Singapore again, but only for 3 weeks. I have to leave Singapore right after my O'lvls. I brought some of my stuff in The Philippines and left it there, since i still have so much to bring back. hahaha.

Anyways, last thursday, i was using my laptop in The Philippines when suddenly, the lights went off. BLACKOUT!!! We only had ONE candle so we had to share the light from it. i missed the thrill of brownouts. After 3 years, i finally experienced "Life in The Philippines" again. i missed it.

Oh Oh!! i have visited like 5 schools for my tertiary education. I tried De La Salle University - Manila, but they told me to wait till the 2nd week of november, if the course i want will have vacancies, BUT in benilde, i am going to take an entrance exam on the 15th of November.OH MY GOSH! can't wait. hahaha.

For Far-Eastern University (FEU), they told me if i want to start on 9th November but of course, take the exam on the saturday which supposed to be TODAY, but i said no, i wanna finish my O'lvls first. since, it's only 3 weeks. UE said the same thing. I'll be fine with Benilde if i pass there. hehehe.

Furthermore, yesterday i was so damn happy. hahaha.. though i got IRRITATED when i was registering to vote for the next presidential election. grrr!! the QUEUE was SO DAMN LOOOOOONG! it took me hours there, some took days :| registration system in The Philippines is so poor. can't it get any better? >_<
But i was happy, i saw my cousins and all... wow. what a day i had yesterday. I couldn't get over the FUN and EXCITEMENT and HAPPINESS and JOY i had...

Can't wait to go back there. Being there is SOOO MUCH, no, WAAAAAY BETTTTEEEERRR than being here... see you again all, soon! ♥

Now, i wanna rest.
*dizzy*

Thursday, October 22, 2009

@ 10/22/2009 09:30:00 AM

Whew.. It’s been almost a week since my last blog post huh? Well, kind of busy these past few days because last Saturday, my brother threw a belated birthday party. It went well though, just that he and his guests only played. Anyway, the party ended late, so I wasn’t able to blog.

The next day, we woke up quite late due to exhaustion caused by the party. Hahaha,
as if right? :]

Then, On Monday, my mom went to office to work so my father decided we should eat at Hougang Mall. Hehe. And then, we packed up our luggage for our vacation back to the Philippines around 3 days only, how sad huh? :( So yeah. I’m here. Hehe.
I wished to keep my vacation secret for some people as I wanted to surprise them but, well… I’m not sure if I can meet them since I am sooooo busy looking for my school…

Today, I am going to Manila to look for a school there and my choices were: De La Salle University (DLSU), De La Salle College of Saint Benilde (CSB), St. Scholastica, Assumption College. My mom also wants me to try University of Santo Thomas (UST), Far-Eastern University (FEU), and more. Hahahah..

So yeah, wish me luck! Actually, I prefer De La Salle University because there’s no uniform. Hahah. I have my own reasons why I don’t want uniforms. Eehehhe..

By the way, last night, I was checking my other phone when I realized someone texted me in my Singapore Sim Roaming, it was Charles. Hahaha. Shocked by the message, I still read it and I felt much better every time people see my blog posts in Filipino. Yes, they read my blog in written in Tagalog. Actually, quite a number of people read it and they always say “I almost cried with your post. Good Luck Ara.” I was like, OMG! Someone still can understand me, still trying to cheer me up. The first one to read it was my cousin. She was like “I read ur blog and I almost cried. Don’t worry, have fun.” And I was like.. “thanks couz! Loveyah!”

It’s so relieving to know that there are still people who care for me, despite their hatred or disliking towards my family and all. I wanna dedicate this post to those who really put effort in reading “My cries”. Thanks SOOO MUCH for really, after reading my post, really contact me just to cheer me up, say good luck and have fun and all. Still, I am so blessed to have you guys in my life.

Blog later! ♥

Friday, October 16, 2009

Graduation 2009 in SG. @ 10/16/2009 10:59:00 AM

Wow. Time flies huh? I have been studying in Singapore for 3 years, and it just ended, and after O'levels. It's over! I'll be in The Philippines. yes! Ü

OCTOBER 15, 2009 - is the day, the last day, the farewell, the GRADUATION DAY. but NOT the GOODBYE!

Anyway, it was a sad thing though thinking about the friendship i created throughout my secondary life in Singapore and leaving them with sad and happy memories... I will miss them, my teachers, my friends, my classmates. I had a wonderful class 4A, it's fun being a 4A student, despite our lame jokes, scoldings from teachers, laziness of some, and rumors around. They're WILD. yes, that's the word. hahaha.

Thanks to our Dearest Form Teacher, Mdm Tan Lin, who taught us for 2years and guided us in our studies and being so motherly to us. We will miss her nagging sessions, her Math Stuff, and her likings for Retro stuff. hahaha..
and to all my teachers Mrs Chew for Physics, Mrs Mahinda for English, Ms Chan for the ionic and covalent bonds we had for Chemistry, Ms Loo for the world to be in our hands and the conflicts we tackled, Mr Lawrence for making us run as fast as we can during PE lessons, because "the last to reach him will get it!" hahaha and other teachers like Mr Danny who didn't teach us but still treat us as his own student :).

My friends, for being so great, our laughing sessions together. My Mother Tongue friends, for sitting altogether laughing at each others' lame jokes. ahahaha.. and don't forget our mother tongue in library, it's always our pleasure to irritate Kit right? :)) The Lemon Tea bottle filled with water by swastika. =)))

Ohh man,, i didn't know i will have more friends than expected.. Thanks. I will never forget you guys. You made my stay in Singapore and Yuying Secondary School way better than what i thought it would be.

Love yah guys!♥♥♥








*more pictures posted in my multiply account. Ü*



This is not the end for us, as we will always be friends with good memories forever. So may Thank You's to everyone i met and befriended in Singapore. You'll always be in my heart. mwaaaahs Ü

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

I hate life because.. :( @ 10/14/2009 09:34:00 PM

Ngayon,, dapat nagsasaya ako kasi finally, nakatapos din ako ng high school. pero hindi padin ee. Di ko padin nkakamit un pinakagusto ko sa buhay. ang maging MASAYA.

Madaming tao na ang nakakaalam ng tungkol sa problema ko.. Alam nila kung gaano ako nahihirapan na walang kalayaan maging masaya. Masaya kasi ako pag wala sa bahay.. boring kasi sa bahay ee. tinitgnan mo lhan pamilya mong hindi naman ako napapasaya kasi hindi nila ako maintindihan.

Yung ibang tao,, alam nila kung gano ako kalungkot at kasaya over some things in life. Pero mismong pamilya ko hindi alam yon... Hindi nga nila alam,, madaming naiinis sa kanila. Butii nga nung pasko may pumunta pa eeh, sa susunod wala na.. pati ako, ayoko na din pumunta.

Eto din ang dahilan bat ayoko Mag Debut. Bakit pa? WALA NAMAN PUPUNTA. sino pupunta, langgam? insekto? tae? kalabaw? Sa mga pinsan ko, kahit si ninang, ayaw na pumunta. bakit? dahil sa pamilya kong nag iba ng ugali.

Buti pa sa pinas,, nagkakasundo kami.. masaya kahit papano. nung napunta kami dito.. naging magastos kami, tas nag feeling mayaman.. tignan nalang ang ugali nila, sabi nila ibang iba ako sakanila.. Kasi ako, outgoing ako.. nakikisama.. Sila kasi, nagiging mapang mata na eeh..

Honestly, andami kong hinanakit sa pamilya ko. Napapalayo na yung loob ko sakanila. Para ngang hindi nako Herrero eh. hahaha.. mas gusto ko pa sa pinas nalang ako, baka sakaling ma-miss ko pa sila... Grabeng dami nilang hindi alam...

Siguro tingin nila masama ako kasi teenager ako.. Dahil teenager ako kaya ganito ako umasta, ee hindi naman ee. Tinanggalan nila ako ng kaligayahn ee. araw araw nakong umiiyak. gabi-gabi. nasasaktan ako habang nagdadasal. kasi nahihirapan ako tanggapin na wala akong kaibigang naturing ng matalik talaga sa high school ko dito. Pano, tingin nila nwawala din ang kaibigan.. eh syempre, mawawala kung hindi mapapahalagahan. diba? gusto kasi nila,, mag aral ako ng mag aral kahit hindi ako masaya. Eeh wala eeh, tinatamad nako mag aral. Hindi ko nga alam kung mapapasa ko pa un O'Levels ko sa katapusan ee... kasi,, kahit anong gawin ko, hindi nako ginaganahan mag aral. kumbaga, patapon na buhay ko. hahaha..

Ang gusto ko lhan naman, hindi nako control-in. gusto ko lhan naman, hayaan naman nila ako mag decide para sa sarili ko,, gusto nila maging independent kami, pero yun ginagawa nila. hindi nakakatulong. Kelangan ko nalang sila para sa PERA. PERA nalang ang dahilan bakit ako kumakapit sknla, hindi dahil masaya ako.. kasi, hindi na talaga ee... nahihirapan nako..

Nagsisimula nakong bumagsak dito,, kasi hindi ako namo-motivate sa school ee, puro nlhan kng anu-ano sinasabi sakin. tulad kanina, nung PE namin, tinanong kami ng teacher namin san ako mag aaral, sabi ko "sa pinas" sbi ng guro namin "ha? bakit dun? ee un katulong namin nagtapos dun, katulong lhan dito" ... ano ba un? pampalakas ng loob? tapos kapag hindi ko magets un tinuturo samin, tntnong ko un mga "akala kong kaibigan ko" kung pano yun. tas ipapamukha pa lalo sakin na BOBO AKO! oo na! bobo nako! matagal ko nang alam!! wala na nga akong kwenta eeh!

Sa pagtatapos ko dito.. sobrang saya ko! kasi mawawala na un hirap na dinadanas ko araw2 sa school... Tiniis ko lahat ng nanyayari sakin sa school MAG ISA. sa buong buhay ko, mag isa lhan ako umiiyak.. kaya nga un dibdib ko, sobrang sikip naa. butee nlhan si ninang ellen, plaging anjan sa tabi ko, makikinig sakin..

minsan naiisip ko, siguro gusto ng aking ina maging kasing sipag nia ako magaral.. Pero sa pinas, pag exam, nagaaral talaga ako,, nag mememorize pako.. dito,, kahit major exam na,, pa-relax relax ako. hindi nako tinatablan ng takot ng exams eh. para bang, wala nakong pakielam kng mkatapos ako or hindi.. kasi ano pa? sila lhan naman kasama ko palagi. wala nakong ginawa kundi sundin sila..

Yung pagiging teenager ko pumapasok na issue kapag ganito ako. ssabihin nila, teenager kasi ganito ganyan. Pero kung tutuusin, hindi nawawala manners ko. ayoko nga na sinasabi ng mga tao na mayaman kami.. kasi ayoko maging mayaman. gusto ko tamang buhay lhan... Naiinis nga ako bat pa kailangan namin mapalayo ee. nakakabayad nga ng utang, hindi naman masaya.. Uo pamilya plagie ang dapat nauuna, pero haii..

Kung alam lhan sana ng aking ina kung panu unti-unting lumalayo loob sakanya ng mga kamag anak namin... ayaw na nga magsipunta sa bahay ee, ayaw na nila makita sila... Sana ako gusto pa nila ako makita, kasi naiinggit ako sa mga tao eeh.. Sila, close sila ng relatives nila, e ako? lumalayo dahil ayaw nila sa ama ko. tapos nadadamay sa pagka-ayaw nila sa ama ko si ina.

Haii.. kung pede lhan... UMUWI NAKO NG PINAS at HINDING HINDI na babalik dito!! kaya ko naman ang sarili ko. alam ko naman ang ginagawa ko.. hindi ba pwedeng bukas nako umuwe! T^T

Yung sulat ni ninang para kay ina hindi ko pa nabibigay kasi,, pag binigay ko un, may itatanong skn un panigurado. E nahihirapan ako mag explain pag nagtatanong xa. kasi, kaharap ko siya nun. hindi ko masasabi lahat ng gusto ko sabihin. kung alam lhan tlga nila..

Oh siya.. hanggang dito na lang. kasi wala nako maisip na sabihin.. gusto ko na matulog. I hate my life now,, soooo much!!

I love you ______. Thanks for everything, for being a good listener and always there when i need someone to talk to. u're the best! mwaah. ♥